- The world needs more people like you. You write something simple and inoffensive. Dear Bill, Thanks for your sweet email. I don’t think we’re a match, but best of luck in your search. Sincerely, Odalis Now you get your reward for making eye contact with the homeless man on Match.
- Maybe it’s time to say: thank u, next. Because you truly deserve the world (and moon, and stars!). There really, actually, truly are so many fish in the sea. If you’re in the midst of dating and wondering if you’re going to find “the one,” don’t lose confidence, get on out there and shine girlfriend!
- Aug 28, 2008 Thank god, someone with a heart. It is unbearably rude to just ignore messages. Someone is, indeed, going out on a limb. The least you can do is say 'Thank you, but I'm not interested'. Give them one chance to do the 'Aww but I'm so awesome you'll love me' shtick, say 'No thank you' again, and block them.
- Let online dating help you practice being picky in a good way. Here at Captain Awkward Dot Com Enterprises we’ve covered many ways to say “No thanks.” Let me refer you to them: The Art of No No, But Thanks I don’t want to go out with you LOL Please don’t write again LOL I prefer not to give out my phone number.
I also initially felt it was rude not to respond to everyone, so I would write back and say, 'Thanks, but no thanks' to my unwanted gentlemen internet callers. What I got back were some really crazed responses. One guy wrote me back (after the 'no thanks') and told me, and I quote, I was 'the nail in the coffin' for him, that women were bitches, that my not accepting his offer to communicate was just the last straw for him, and he was ending his online dating membership because of me. (Sheesh, how'd I let that charmer go?!) Several others wrote back similar insulting things which led to my deciding that ignoring the emails was the best option. This is contrary to my normal approach to life, but so it is.
From the guy's perspective, I've had two guy friends tell me they would get their hopes up when they saw their mailboxes full, only to be disappointed when they discovered it was full of 'thanks, but no thanks' responses (as 23skidoo said).
I found a balanced approach worked best for me: if the email to me was clearly written expressly for me and involved some of the writer's time, I'd write back and politely decline. However, if it was clearly a 'form letter' seeking my attention (and most of them were), I'd not respond at all.
posted by December at 12:44 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
From the guy's perspective, I've had two guy friends tell me they would get their hopes up when they saw their mailboxes full, only to be disappointed when they discovered it was full of 'thanks, but no thanks' responses (as 23skidoo said).
I found a balanced approach worked best for me: if the email to me was clearly written expressly for me and involved some of the writer's time, I'd write back and politely decline. However, if it was clearly a 'form letter' seeking my attention (and most of them were), I'd not respond at all.
posted by December at 12:44 PM on August 28, 2008 [1 favorite]
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